Hard to Win Fantasy Football if Real Football Gives Up.

I suffered a tough loss to fellow blog contributor last night. Losing by less than a point in fantasy football is like watching the person in front of you grab the last 60" TV on Black Friday¹. It's like trying to solve a rubix cube and having ONE yellow tile out of place. It's like yanking out a tooth that just started to wiggle yesterday only to have the tooth fairy leave you a quarter instead of the much anticipated dollar².

No one should have to lose by less than a point. I lost by 0.48 points. After an incredibly long work day, I was left with no 60" TV, a dent in the wall from the unsolved rubix cube I had thrown, what felt like a monstrous toothache³, and a bank account less the league buy-in⁴.

Down by 17.38 points (in a 0.5 PPR league) going into last night's game with both Andre Johnson and Owen Daniels in my line-up, I was facing a nail-biter. I knew the points were not guaranteed. To my surprise, neither were the minutes played by the Texan players. With 7:23 left in the 4th quarter, New England up 42-7, Houston had taken out some of the starters. Tate was running the ball, and Yates was throwing...throwing to Posey⁵, NOT Andre Johnson.

Now you tell me, how is one supposed to win a matchup when the players slated to play, don't play? Yahoo had not shut down⁶ and given up on my game, what allows Coach Kubiak to give up⁷? Coach, your players performed poorly, they obviously need more practice! Have Yates throw it, for all I care⁸ - just give the ball to Johnson or Daniels ONE MORE TIME.

Each reception = 0.5 points
ONE MORE TIME = one more reception

Therefore...

ONE MORE RECEPTION = 0.5 points = enough points to win the match up!

Shame on me for not starting Heath Miller. I let the ugly Charlie Brown uniforms and questionable QB status blur my fantasy vision. I should not have doubted Big Ben...he did promise to take Miller to the Pro-Bowl.

It's going to take me awhile to get over this one. (And let's not even get started on my Pick 'ems for the week...)

Fantasy Football is NOT just a stupid game, folks⁹.


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¹I would know. Flashback to Best Buy, Black Friday 2009.
²Do kids still get money under their pillow these days? Or has currency been replaced with iTunes gift cards?
³Quite possibly caused by the clenching of the teeth as I continued to refresh the Yahoo app on my iPad.
⁴Losers do not win any money in my league.
⁵Let me introduce you to DeVier Posey, rookie from Ohio State. Available in 100% of leagues.
⁶I think Yahoo has learned its lesson.
⁷Greg Schiano says, "...fight until they tell us game over."
⁸I don't have Schaub as QB in any of my leagues. He can do backflips on the sideline for all I care.
⁹Your wives and co-workers haven't lived until they have endured a frustrating season full of injury reports and inflated projections.


-bObD.